Many people believe that if they control others to do/to say or to feel what they want them to do,say or feel they will be happy. Or if they control the events around them they will be happy. Many parents get angry/frustrated or depressed because their adolescent children are not under their full control, in their mind there is one way to be happy. Only when their semi-adult children surrender to their parental full control. In my experience more often than not this happens.
We can help your family with counseling. You might want to visit and share this website with your teen that provides help for teens http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/